Happy to say that I'm leaving a ton of guys behind in 2011! When that clock strikes midnight I will no longer care about Alex, Sean, Cameron, Cole, Chris, the other Cole, Bobby, Jake, the list goes on........
As I looked around the garage, I really felt secure in my decision to come home. I was never quite sure why I felt this calling to come back to Southern California, but now I see it. Whether it’s Lauren tap dancing her way through beer pong, Brian trying to put darts in Kurt’s ear, Stephen and I arguing over who leads a more thuggish life style, or Josh and Kyle beating each other up with wiffle ball bats, I realize this is why I’m home.
My friends are my rocks in life. They are my family. They are the people who lift me up and carry me along the broken path at times. They’re the ones who laugh with me, cry with me, smile with me, pee with me, drink with me, eat with me, and love with me.
“People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s hopelessness. Imagine waking up and there being no color. Walking outside and feeling no wind. Eating a meal and tasting nothing. Holding someone and feeling completely alone at the same time. When you’re depressed, it’s not a bad mood. It’s a numb, empty, hollowness that seems to never leave. It’s feeling alone in a room full of people. You feel like there’s no hope left.”
2011 was a very difficult year for me and my family. But I wouldn’t change a thing. (except losing my grandmother) Every trial and tribulation that was brought upon my life this year was a blessing in disguise. I may not see the positive in every situation yet, but I know that they all led me here, back home.